Currently viewing the tag: "Life at peace"

The last week has been a lesson to me on the price to be paid when we retreat to the safety of our minds. Any form of success can easily make us forget the reason we took part. I spent the last fortnight not doing what I love, writing, teaching and learning, allowing myself to be controlled by expectations. Having had a few good weeks on myDL I’m struggling to write. Even though the success has been very moderate I’m suddenly finding myself quitting in the middle of posts and shooting down more ideas than ever paying the price for pursuing perfection. It’s not enough to find your passion! you need to find a way to keep it yours too!

Re-connect with your passion

Connect to the original reason you found your passion often. Go back to the reason you started. Whether your passion makes you $1 a year or $100 a day you when you started you started because you connected deeply with it. Connect with that feeling often. Remember all the reasons why you’d gladly do what you’re doing for free. Remember that some time good enough is good enough, the price of perfection is high when you let it stop you producing.

Study how the professionals progressed

Research heroes of your field and look how they progressed. Even the most gifted of gifted athletes and writers knocked their head once or twice. They didn’t start out perfect but they always had passion. No one is born able to do it all. Read about how they did it. Study their mindset. Model their strategies. Use their tactics. Have a good old laugh at the mistakes that they made. When you’re done, have a quick chuckle at your own expense 10 years from now someone will be laughing at how you knocked your head and you won’t care when you’ve made it. Passion will fuel you when you know that you won’t be perfect, but that you’re doing the right things. The price of perfection is less time spent learning.

Change your mindset about failure

Change your mind about failure. You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to make plenty. Live with it. This is not permission for you to fail! This is permission to make mistakes. Put together a system and incorporate an element of quality checking before you complete. Systems are often passion killers, use your system to channel your energy to the parts of this blogging lark you’re most passionate about. When I write I now complete my outline, knock out my first draft. I then revise the piece while also checking for glaring spelling and punctuation mistakes then I revise again at least 12 hours later. When I just started out I found I still missed a glut of errors. I should have been checking more until my error margin was acceptable. At the moment I still miss the odd mistake but if I do I fix it and move on I still trust my system. You should do the same set up a system and stick to it as long your success rate is within acceptable limits. The price of perfection is going to be a heart attack if you don’t have  trusted system to handle the areas of your blogging which you struggle most with.

 

 

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As it happens I have an alter ego who writes at mydl, which is the geekronym for My digital life a South African digital lifestyle blogging site which I contribute to. The last week has been extremely emotionally charged with many of those problems that we South Africans tend to avoid bubbling to the surface.  For those not living within our lovely border , shame on you!! Ok now that I’ve got that out of my system essentially what’s happened is Canada has granted political asylum to Brandon Huntley, a South African national living in Canada illegally. See more in my post Canadians must not be very clever just ask Brandon Huntley

The Issues in a Nutshell

  • Brandon Huntley is a white South African
  • Brandon Huntley claims to have been the victim of violent crime at the hands of black criminals on seven occasions, but never reported any of these crimes to the South African police
  • The Canadian panel hears Brandon Huntley’s representations and finds:
  • Brandon Huntley is being persecuted in his home country because of his race
  • The government in South Africa is unable and unwilling to protect white South Africans like Brandon Huntley
  • Brandon Huntley would not be safe returning to South Africa because “ no matter where he went in South Africa he would stick out like a sore thumb”

For more on this see the link above to my post on mydl. What I’m here to discuss is the manner in which this story brought to the surface a number of issues which we as a country have just been to damn polite to discuss.

Racism is still rife in South Africa

I think the most important lesson I’ve learnt this week is that racism is still alive and kicking in South Africa. The large number of hateful and absurdly ignorant comments that flew back and forth this week really knocked the stuffing out of me until I realized, Brandon Huntley might just be the savior of our democracy. Brandon Huntley and he’s sneaky underhanded attempt to remain in Canada has started a dialog that should have begun 15 years ago. We need to release the pressure bubbling below the lid of political correctness and give space for expression of ideas we dislike and disapprove of. Brandon Huntley and his cheap trick which is now under judicial review in Canada has given a voice to racism and I’m actually happy to hear it.

Lessons on Managing comment flaming

For me everyday on mydl is a learning experience and never more so than this week past. Some of the best lessons which I think apply to any kind comment flaming on blogs or in normal social :

  • Shut up, the more distasteful the comment the more closely you should listen, when you start listening you open the door for understanding always remember discussions via comments are public affairs
  • Ask questions, make sure you understand the other persons point of view once they’ve stated it
  • Be respectful, anyone can shout and scream and use profanity, when you do it you take away from your credibility and alienate your audience
  • I mention this seperately because well it happens a lot don’t call people names :) Once you’ve called someone idiotic it’s unlikely they’re going to listen you again no matter how compelling your argument.
  • Pause, try not to reply while your emotions are running high take some time and reply when you’re calm
  • Do reply thoroughly citing references where possible
  • Do acknowledge when people with differing opinons to you make compelling arguments
  • Don’t be afraid to quit while you’re ahead or even if you’re behind, some arguments simply become childish mud slinging matches. Don’t let your ego rule you, remember why the discussion started and if the discussion has become trivial walk away, continuing will only take away from your brand.
  • Over and above all that forget about winnng! It’s not a game state your case and move on.

Some very tasty comment discussions and lots of lessons on how not to handle comments:

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One of the many pasttimes I took up during the last two years of my transformation has been teaching myself to play the guitar. I am no John Mayer but I think I’ve established a fair degree of proficiency considering the fact that I’ve had very little time to dedicate my instrument. While I learnt to play the guitar the guitar also taught me some lessons about life.

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  1. There is no substitute for practice. You need to put the hours in building up those calluses hitting the wrong strings. Until you have you’ll never gain mastery of your instrument. It is said that you need to 10000 hours of practice to attain mastery of any skill. The only way to get there is one hour at a time.
  2. You get what you practice. Make sure that when you’re practicing you’re practicing playing the correct way. Your body doesn’t know the difference between the correct way to play and the incorrect. Avoid shortcuts learn the correct form. Practice using the correct form, pay the price now and you’ll reap the benefits down the line. Similarly in life if you spend your time practicing and focusing on bad behaviors don’t be surprised when you become really good at being bad.
  3. Two hands acting as one. Playing the guitar is a true lesson in synergy neither hand can achieve individually what they can achieve together. Playing with feeling can only happen when your hands move as one. Each knowing the position of the other. There is an economy of movement a grace to the guitarist movement that should be a guide to all of us. The guitarist moves his hands no more than he must to get to the next note. Ensuring that he is able to give voice to each beat and to give each beat life. Live your life this way. The only way to succeed is when you are able to find this inner synergy.
  4. Timing is everything. Playing music is all about keeping time. The guitarist needs keep his playing in time with the rhythm. Within the constraints of the rhythm the guitarist has complete freedom to explore himself within the music. Similarly in life there are immutable laws like timing which we cannot change but we can rule our lives within them if we only open our eyes and ears to see them.
  5. Less Haste and more Speed. The Guitarist like any musician understands that speed is key it’s not about knowing what note to play but rather it’s about knowing when to play what not. Music is a rich tapestry of sound and silence. Knowing when to keep quiet is often as important as knowing when to play. Don’t rush your playing. When you’re truly invested in playing much like when you’re fully invested in living you will feel the urge to hurry along. Resist this urge remember the right note at the wrong time is as destructive as the wrong note at the right time

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While going about my business I was lucky enough to run across one of my favorite movies at a second hand store. Stranger Than Fiction is one of those movies that just works. Much like Groundhog Day this movie does not translate into conversation well, any attempt at explaining it seems to leave it sounding really “out there” which couldn’t really be further from the truth. Stranger than fiction’s message is so down here, at times you’ll feel like you’ve been kicked in the nuts by the pure child-like sincerity of it all.

Ok this is not a Stranger than Fiction review though so for those who have not watched Stranger Than Fiction I thoroughly recommend finding a copy of it, I’ve tried very hard not to spoil the movie so I’ve steered clear of spoilers as far as possible so if you haven’t seen it keep reading I’m pretty sure this won’t ruin it for you when you do finally watch it.

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