Heading into the end of the year I’m tempted to take stock of my failures in 2009 and start waving my finger at myself for all the things I’ve let slip during the year. All the failures punctuating the months from January to now. I’m reminded of all the doe-eyed dreams I had 12 months ago, and all the many goals I set myself at the beginning of the year. All those failures. I can’t help but smile. The year is however come and gone, no matter how long I wag my finger no matter how down I get this is the present I have inherited from myself, failures and all. In many respects 2009 has been, as my footballing friends would say, a rebuilding year for me. I’ve taken stock of myself and realized a number of things that I possibly wasn’t ready to last year or the year before. Where I am, that is where you’ll find me.

I think I’m going to tattoo that on my forehead this new year. I love the fact that I’ve reached a place in my life where my failures no longer define me. I am free of failure let the success roll in.
Famous Failures:
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.” Mahatma Gandhi

Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.
Iassc Newton did poorly in grade school and was considered “unpromising.”
When Thomas Edison was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.
F.W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21, but his boss would not permit him to wait on customers because he “didn’t have enough sense to close a sale.”
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Bob Cousy suffered the same fate, but he too is a Hall of Famer.
A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he “lacked imagination and had no original ideas.”
Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade and had to repeat it because he did not complete the tests that were required for promotion.
Babe Ruth struck out 1,300 times, a major league record.

Failure quotes:
Failure is an event, never a person.  ~William D. Brown, Welcome Stress!

I have not failed.  I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.  ~Thomas Edison

Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better.  ~Samuel Beckett

One fails forward toward success.  ~Charles F. Kettering

A man may fall many times, but he won’t be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.  ~Elmer G. Letterman

A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in the experience.  ~Elbert Hubbard

There is much to be said for failure.  It is more interesting than success.  ~Max Beerbohm,

Mainly on the Air, 1946

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.  ~Lloyd Jones

If you’re doing your best, you won’t have any time to worry about failure.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Image credit
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fireflythegreat/ / CC BY 2.0
 

“We could say that meditation doesn’t have a reason or doesn’t have a purpose. In this respect it’s unlike almost all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don’t do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.” Alan Watts
In my previous post meditation in 60 seconds, I looked at a quick exercise to get your feet wet in the meditation pool. However after posting it I realized there is a bigger “why” behind the question of meditation. For most people meditation is what they’ve seen on television. Strange people with strange hair cuts sitting around chanting. While this is a type of meditation and meditation does form part of religion for some, this is but one form of meditation?

So what is meditation?
What does meditation entail?
What happens physically in my body while I meditate?
Can meditation and religion exist separate from each other?
What are the benefits of meditation?

So what is meditation? What does meditation entail?
Meditation is the quietening of the mind. It is a process wherein the meditator takes time to be present in their lives. Ok so I hear you asking yourself “but surely I’m present in my life now? If not where am I?” No you’re probably not present in your life now. As you read this your mind is stretching into the past to compare what you’re reading to the knowledge you’ve already built up over the years and at some point it will stretch off into the future and try to predict the success of this meditation business. Meditation is about banishing the past and the future. Meditation banishes thoughts of ego, we forget our physical selves or the outward existence of our physical selves. We become aware of our inner selves. We forget about time. Our inner self exists without time. It lives and feels now. When we stop thinking, the past and the future dissolve and we are left with the present. Once we enter the meditative state, we become at once more peaceful. While meditating our bodies relax. Amazingly most people find this relaxed state quite uncomfortable at first. We’ve become that accustomed to our stressed state. Meditation is about allowing our bodies to experience our natural state of relaxation. Meditation is, letting go of the need to think and realizing that we are so much more than the sum of our thoughts.
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” Bruce Lee
What happens physically in my body while I meditate?
Our brain chiefly operates at 2 frequencies while we are awake Alpha and Beta. When our brain operates at the Beta frequency it is awake and alert. Some of the lower Beta frequencies are great for creativity and focused thought concentration. The higher beta frequencies is where we spend most of our time. This is where our conscious mind is in almost complete control. Our brain is going great guns jumping from one thought to another.
As our stress levels increase our brain moves into higher beta frequencies this results in:

We hunch our shoulders constricting our lungs and as a result our breathing becomes shallower
Our jaw clenches
We struggle to focus on one thing, our mind jumping from one thought to the next
Our heart rate increases
We start feeling ill at ease, our mind is warning us that we’re heading down a dangerous path

Alpha is the other state that our mind commonly resides in while awake. The higher alpha states are often attributed with creativity and problems solving. Lower alpha states are where your mind resides just before you fall asleep, when you just wake up and when you meditate. Meditation captures the moments before you fall asleep.
This is when your body is:

Relaxed
Your breathing is deep and easy
Your muscles are loose and at ease
Your heart rate normal and often lowered as your body begins to work more efficiently
You start feeling more at peace as you feel your real inner life come into focus

“Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity. Swami Sivananda

Can meditation and religion exist separate from each other?
Yes they can there is nothing inherently “religious” about meditation. What you choose to focus on while you meditate is your personal choice. Whether you choose to clear your mind and simply experience the joy of being alive or whether you would like to meditate on some higher being of your choosing is entirely your choice. Meditation is a personal matter. Meditation neither adds nor takes away from you as a person. All meditation does is focus you inward on what is already there.
What are the benefits of meditation?
The effects of meditation are instantaneous. Even as you take your first steps on the road to the practice of meditation, you will find that you will begin to feel these benefits. There are no contra-indication to meditation. There is quite literally nothing in your life that will not benefit from your practice of meditation, as you begin to feel energised and refreshed. I personally find that meditation kickstarts my creativity. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, it quite literally feels like my brain has been rebooted. It feels as if I have cleared the cluttered workspace of my mind and am beginning anew with a clean and clear workspace. Besides creativity meditation refreshes the mind during periods of mental exertion, like during exam time. I find despite getting older and older my powers of concentration have actually grown considerably since I’ve started meditation.

Image Credits
http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/ / CC BY-ND 2.0

The brain waves of meditators show why they’re healthier. Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex—brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex. In other words, they were calmer and happier than before. Benefits of meditation
So you heard about meditation and haven’t had the time or the knowledge to look into it. In just 60 seconds I’ll give you a very quick introductory lesson to relax your mind in 60 seconds. So that you can enjoy the benefits of meditation too:

Benefits of meditation:

Meditation helps the body regulate it’s breathing
Meditation reduces anxiety attacks as it lowers the levels of blood lactate.
Meditation makes you more aware of your body and well being
Meditation builds self confidence.
Meditation gives your conscious mind a rest
Meditation increases serotonin which influences moods and behaviour. Low levels of serotonin are associated with depression, headaches and insomnia.
Meditation enhances energy, strength and vigour.
Meditation increases your minds capacity for creativity and problem solving
Meditation helps keep blood pressure normal
Meditation reduces stress and tension
Meditation creates a state of deep relaxation and general feeling of wellbeing
Meditation helps with P.M.T.
Meditation increases concentration and strengthens the mind
Meditation helps reduce heart disease
Meditation helps with weight loss

So how do you begin with meditation, much like everything else you simply begin. In order for medititation to be effective all you need to do is to allow your mind to release itself from incessant thinking. All I’m going to ask you to do is to follow this exercise for 60 seconds a day and you will have started on the road to a more peaceful inner life. When starting meditation I found meditating for long periods very difficult, almost impossible, and very demotivating. For this reason  I suggest starting for short periods and increasing as you feel more comfortable.
Meditation Excercise 1
You will need some free time a quiet place free of distractions an egg timer or something similar preferably with an alarm. Anything that can make a noise with a 60 second delay will do.

During the exercise dress comfortably in loose fitting clothing and sit or lie down anyway that is most comfortable.

During the 60 seconds I will ask you to:

Close your eyes.
Breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth
I ask that you concentrate on the air that you are breathing in.
For the full 60 seconds concentrate only on the path of the air from just in front of your nostrils down into your lungs
Hold each breath there for a moment and then release it, all the time focusing only on the air you are breathing as it travels in and out

You will during the minute of meditation find thoughts encroaching, you’ll wonder about work or what you’re going to eat or any number of real world problems. When you do just become aware of the thought and allow it to fall through your mind as you begin concentrating on your breathing again.

Do this meditation excercise whenever you have a free moment, first thing in the morning is the best time for many, and you will soon find that you have less and less trouble keeping your mind clear for the full 60 seconds. In the interim you will find that even these short 60 second bursts are thoroughly relaxing.

Image Credits:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fchouse/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

In the course of our days we all feel our stress levels and the need to reduce our stress levels. We feel the stress levels when in the quiet moments our heart rates remind us of the disquiet in our body. We feel the stress levels when we overreact to the annoyances of everyday life. We feel it when, beaten into submission by our stress levels, we under react to the annoyances of everyday life and allow them to over run the the serenity of our bodies. Every day we face more and more decisions, decisions of consequence, that have an impact on our own lives and the lives of others. How then do we reduce the negative stress associated with these big decisions? at the risk of sounding flippant, we simply do. Stress is our body telling us to take action, and action destroys stress as quickly as it bubbles up. Inaction becomes the fuel for negative stress, eating at your health and mental well being.
Release control, accept your situation and reduce your stress levels
Release Control
Yes release control accept your situation and reduce your stress levels. That’s all you need to do. The release of control is central to overcoming and reducing stress. We cannot control what enters our lives only what we do about it. Statements like “Why me?”, “Not me again!” and “I have the worst luck!” are unconscious signposts that your mind is not accepting Now. We are often overcome by the need to find meaning behind random events. When bad things happen, the only logical action is to release yourself from trying to control the situation. What has happened has happened. Whether it could be avoided or not. Whether you believe in fate or not. This is the only reality which you are now faced with. Looking back into the past is an attempt to apportion blame. It is your controlling self avoiding the action at hand and working to try and apportion the blame. Looking to the future to control the situation if it rears it’s ugly head again. We must become proactive and learn from our mistakes. However when we do so at the expense of the real action at hand. The one which must be done to take the current project forward we set ourselves up for increased stress levels. Our controlling selves won’t allow us to release control and acknowldedge the reality of our current situation. Our inability to release control overwhelms us while the real work of doing suffers.
Accept your situation
Release control accept your situation and reduce your stress levels. To accept your situation is the real secret to enlightenment which will banish stress from your life forever. Once we have allowed ourselves to release control of the situations in our lives. We automatically accept the situations of our life. When we release ourselves from the past and future and our controlling self’s attachment to negative situations, you are automatically, almost magically forced to accept your situation. When accepting our situation becomes the default response to the stressors in our life, our feelings of stress disappear. Yes, the negativity of stress disappears from your life. To accept your situation and take action becomes the instantaneous response and our emotional plate is free to accept positive gifts. Take a second now and think about how many of the stress feelings you have are as a result of rejecting your current situation. If you stopped the back and forth within yourself and started aiming directly at the reality of today, of Now, how much less would you have to worry about? The past stretches back for centuries and the future into infinity, free yourself from worrying about these beasts and focus on now.
Reduce stress levels
This is the organic part of the lesson, when you release control and accept your situation you automatically reduce stress levels in your life. When looking at your current mental state it’s important to realize we cannot act on stress, only on the cause. We cannot act on stressors only on ourselves and the way we deal with the stressors in our lives. This is the only way to reduce stress
Reduce stress for more life
I am no master of these lessons and treat every day as an opportunity to become less ignorant and less arrogant. On good days I fail as often as I succeed. I cannot control the universe, however I can control my experience of it. I can do that when I choose to learn from my existence and thrive because of my failures not in spite of them. I control my experience of my life when I work toward my goals and dreams for this existence in the clear light of the present rather than the blurry past and ethers of the future, made up of many todays. I control my experience of this universe when I sit down to this blog and share my experience of my universe.

Image Credit
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tzofia/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

This look at Battle Studies by John Mayer is part of my Lessons from series, these are a collection of lessons which I take from looking at everyday things a little differently.

I’ve been sitting on the new John Mayer album, Battle Studies for 2 weeks now, and like the pot of pasta with a do not disturb sign in the back corner of my fridge that’s been there for the same length of time, this album has really taken on a life of it’s own. Unlike the the deadly ex pasta though this album is mostly harmless. See my John Mayer Battle Studies Review for more on the Battle Studies itself track by track. This is not a review though this, like my, Lessons from Stranger than fiction is a look at the lessons I learnt from Battle Studies. Ok a quick run down on the history of this album, Battle Studies is the fourth (excluding his self released, Inside wants out) studio album. An artist taking a nigh on 3 years in these days of the attention deficient masses is fairly rare. However that’s just how long Battle Studies has been in the making. What makes this album really brilliant and sold me from the beginning is that despite the huge success of Continuum this was not an  attempt to repeat the success or copy the sound Battle Studies is a stand-alone album.
Sell your art not your soul
 That in essence is the lesson I learnt listening to John Mayer’s uneasily honest Battle Studies, it’s not ok to try and find a success recipe and churn out cookie cutter results. True greatness doesn’t come from a mould. True greatness come from people who unwittingly create those moulds. Listening to this album I have no doubt that Mr. Mayer the businessman had a few sleepless nights after long days in the studio pouring his heart onto a hard drive. In the end though after all the agonizing John Mayer, the artist won out, how rare that is in today’s music industry, where a new musician’s image is often decided on long before the first bit of music has been laid down. In all our endeavours there is a battle between the artist and the businessman, the pragmatist and the dreamer. There is a place for all sorts businessmen and dreamers but ultimately we are doomed when the artist makes his decisions like a businessman. There must be that integrity of action in art for creativity to flourish.

 Sadly the battle is being won overwhelmingly by business. Money puts food on the table not ideas. Herein lies the problem.

How do we make money from our passion?
How do we keep our passion pure?
How can we keep our integrity while still paying the bills?

These are not problems that John Mayer had to worry about, making Battle Studies, but it is something he was thinking about near on 10 years ago playing in dingy night clubs in Georgia. His bills, now, I’m quite sure get paid each month with a fair amount of spare change. Still I’m quite sure that he met some resistance from the execs who were  looking for Continuum 2: The sequel. He has what all of us aspiring artists need, a proven track record of success and courage in his convictions. We need to spend less time thing about what will be successful and more time getting to grips with that courage. As artists, and yes writers are artists too, we need to start experimenting wildly. Only when we have experimented to the nth degree tried and retried every idea we have in the creative toolbox. Only when we’re at peace with our art can we go forth and sell it with the cockiness that comes from mastery. Without that we’re chasing success in a raft without paddles, unable to choose our own course.
Bonus track
 The big take home message off this Battle Studies? Art can be bought but real artists can’t.  Be an artist of Self development and take control and credit for the change in your life, your extended social group can be a great motivator or your worst enemy if you allow them to influence your work.

 One of the peculiarities of life is the way in which each of us engage in living, while Robert Bravery’s post, about the scourge that is Spam (go read it it’s full of good tips for thwarting spam), struck a nerve with me and will with most any blogger out there, it also started me thinking. The thought of having to purge my comment moderation queue has become quite too much for me to bear on most days. I mean if only we didn’t have this problem if only there was a solution that would fix it for us for good.
Everything will not run smoothly
Well honestly if we did find that solution. The chemical weapon for the spam that lurks round our blogging community. There’d be some new way the idle and uninventive would find to annoy us into submission. There is one reality, everything will not run smooth. There will always be threats to our blogging way of life. People just naturally want something for nothing and they’ll prey on anyone they can.
Being able to communicate with you is a gift, perhaps spam is a fair price
So while I value Robert’s post and useful advice I also started remembering when  I just started out. Feel free to giggle, but when I started out blogging I was kind of happy when the filthy spammers found me. I mean if they could find me I must be doing something right. Knowing a little more about the dark arts of the spammers now I know that’s not exactly true. I mean those spammers could find a open space on bathroom cubicle door at a rock concert if it had a some page rank. (perhaps the spammers should start a search engine). But long before my face turned to a scowl at the site of corny joke, naked celebrities and the answer to all bedroom problems stuffed into a pill, I used to get a bit of a buzz. I dug in and said now I’m a blogger. I’m paying my dues. I still try and remember that, see the thing is even as Monetize Your Life goes from strength to strength and my readers increase along with it my spam, I’m still paying my dues. I’m thankful that I’m able to communicate with my readers and if the price of that is some spam so be it. With helpful posts by Robert and the rest of the blogging community at least I know I’ll be doing everything I can.
When Good Enough is Good Enough! Accept what is
When it comes to these irritations in life I think the answer is to find the enough that is enough. We will never get rid of all the frustration that is spam or anything else that intrudes on our lives. Whether it’s the overbearing boss or nosey neighbour. Should we ignore it, of course not. Our time is our own, our readers are our own, there’s no need to give up but once all available methods have been exhausted we need  be able to let go and accept  what is. These are realities in life that we cannot change. If we fight these realities, we empower them to affect our happiness, our self worth and our interactions with the world. When we simply accept them and embrace them look at the other side of their existence we allow them to inject value into our lives instead.
Why I love Spam

My blog is fully functional I’ve received some spam!!!
My blog is visible on the web, those pesky spammers found me. Yippee!
Ok I’m not the only one that finds some of those corny jokes funny… ‘fess up
Spam detection as an industry employs people, reduced unemployment is a good thing
How awesome is it to find that one piece of “not spam” amongst the x-rated and pharmaceutical ads it’s kind of like finding a hundred bucks in pants you haven’t worn in ages
Perhaps you really do need those special pills… It could happen… when it does, you’ll be happy all those helpful folks sent you their contact details

Perhaps taking the time to see the value in something you currently view as negative would help to improve the value you see in your life.

Image Credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/susang2/ / CC BY-ND 2.0